Honestly, I’m surprised that I’ve only written a thousand posts in the last eight years, but here it is: #1,000. Because a variety of things have me reminiscing, right now, and because the other 999 posts don’t get much play after the week they’re posted, I thought I’d take a short tour back through some of the back catalog here at the site, to see if I can’t entice you to go digging through the old posts, to see what’s old and what’s aged, like wine… and what’s turned to vinegar.

Then I spent an hour going through old posts and realized, hey, that’s a shitty idea. The archives are full of me being wrong about all kinds of stuff, and right (really right) about just a little bit. So instead of that, I’m just going to link you back to post #1, and offer you my back catalog of cringe-worthy hackery.

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If you’re friends with Tony Wagner, and you haven’t talked to him in a while, and you’re wondering what’s up with him, here’s what you do:

1. Think about him while you’re driving someplace. I chose the ride on the way to see Watchmen.
2. That’s it. He’ll usually email you out of the blue within 90 minutes.

Worked for me. When I got home from Watchmen, this was in my Inbox:

Greetings sir to you
I am writing this with sendings of good will to you and the lady that is little.  The purpose of this message is to ask of you assistance in participation for exciting opportunity for which I have.  My family is royal governing of provincial island state of south pacific ocean and due to climate political are forced to flee country. Great strife exists in homeland of my and rebel factions threaten to overtake homes and assets.  The vast majority to which is in the currency of my country, the hello.  These hellos are kept by my family in a secret vault basement of the palace in which living I am for security.  thesse hellos must be kept hidden for risk of rebels misuse which I received your email from website to you.  I am prepared to share these hellos with you once exchanged into you for half.  This response must be yes for you are me and my royal families hope for us.  Much thinking of greatness to you.

Much thinking of greatness to you, too, Tony Wagner.