Two Sites’ Worth of Apocalyptic Visions

Scientific American offers up a short survey of apocalyptic visions to supplement their September issue, which I haven’t seen yet. Did your favorite apocalypse make the list?

Meanwhile, Web Urbanist offers up another slew and a half of apocalyptic visions, with lots of great (and horrific) imagery to back it up. I’ve had this tab open for more than a week. I just keep going back to it as I make notes for Razed.

Annual Selfish Materialism

This week includes the 32nd anniversary of my delivery into this manifold life, which is to say, my birthday.

Some of you might be thinking about getting me something, though I suspect a large percentage of you potential gift-givers are my parents, to whom this post almost certainly does not apply. Just in case you wanted to express your birthday wishes through generous materialism or filthy lucre, though, I am happy to oblige you with easy venues.

First, take note of this, my Amazon wishlist, and its atomic components: Max Headroom DVDs and a William Gibson novel. Don’t pay too much attention to the order of the contents, though. Lower items just mean, in some cases, that I’ve wanted the thing for longer.

Of course, I welcome unasked-for books and DVDs and games, as you no doubt have exceptional taste and, hey, who am I to pass up free stuff?

Or, in light of my upcoming and unexpected trip to PAX Prime in Seattle, you can just donate cash to keep me fed and drunk, or, rather, watered. Or rather drunk. I’m on a shoestring budget for this show, with big plans to donate blood (to get the cookies) and to rent myself out as an experienced Fiasco player. That these are terrible ideas, doomed to financial failure, should tell you just how ill-equipped I am for Seatown. So, equip me. Slip me ten bucks and I’ll drink coffee in your honor.

Here’s that donate button:


If you get me something, be it a nice comment here on the blog or a few dollars to eat in the Emerald City or some kind of spinning media disc, thank you for taking the time and effort to do that. Really. I make fun of my materialism (and my birthday, and my pauperism), but I appreciate you coming by the blog and reading what’s here, truly. That’s already some kind of gift to me, so thank you for that. Happy birthday, me!

But, seriously, I’m also out of cigars. I’m not saying, I’m just saying.

Fiasco: All The Damn Time

Jason Morningstar’s Fiasco is a hell of a game. I could write a few thousand words here about how and why it’s wonderful but you’ve already read other great recommendations of it online. The best, most persuasive argument for the game is simply to play it with clever, thoughtful players, so go do that if you haven’t.

Since playing it for the first time, earlier this summer, I’ve written or co-written a few playsets for the game. Some of them are scheduled to see the light of day in the future. One, though, is so crazy that I think it requires playtesting and advice to be gathered from the Fiasco community at large, to make sure the damn thing even works.

All The Damn Time

All The Damn Time

This is that playset: “All The Damn Time”

(It’s a PDF file.)

Here’s the gist of it: Sam Howard is a man unstuck in time. Some kind of quantum-level shenanigans have him traveling to and from key moments in his life. But if one Sam Howard managed to mess things up the first time, who’s to say that even more meddling Sam Howards can make things any better? Will Sam improve his life by futzing with his own history or will he turn a life of perfectly ordinary mistakes into a paradoxical catastrophe?

Who plays Sam Howard, by the way? You all do. You play Sams from different points in time. Good luck with that.

To be clear, this is a terrible starter playset for the game. If you have never played Fiasco, do not start here. Pick almost any of the great Playsets of the Month from the Bully Pulpit Games website, or play one of the sets that come packaged in the game book. If you’ve played the game a few times already, though, and you’re willing to tax your skills a bit, I’d love to hear how (or if) this playset works for you.

(Now for some advice, right up front. The Relationships are specifically designed to work across multiple Sams, young and old, but the first group is especially suited for the youngest two Sams and the sixth group is specially designed to “wrap around” from the oldest to the youngest Sams. You can tinker and meddle with the possibilities, of course, especially if you want a smaller story with Sams separated by shorter lengths of time. It should work either way. Just remember that the Relationships are open to interpretation.)

I’d like to especially thank Jason Morningstar and Logan Bonner for looking over this set once already. If it sucks, though, it’s my fault.

Why I Eat Brains

Originally published as a Ficlet, this short piece was written to an exact character limit and has never been revised.

It isn’t like peeling an orange. It isn’t like popping a walnut. Skulls are harder than I’d imagined.

How long do I have, now? I’m still here, enough to know this is wrong, but I love my wife and I love my kids and I want to hold onto those memories and for that I need a brain.

Someone is coming closer, hesitating, slack-jawed. I scream at him, meaning to send him words like, “Fuck off! This is mine! I caught this one!” but I think all I holler is noise. I’m not really there. I’m in my fingertips, scouting over the surface of this slick and bloody head.

I get the jaw in one hand, the head in another, brace the whole thing against my chest, and pull. Something gives. But no go. His mandible waggles like a broken toy.

With his head in my hands, hair sticking to my bloody fingers, I drag him to the curb. I stomp. Something is cracked, beneath the skin. I nip at skin like it’s a cellophane wrap. I get fingernails into the crack. I pull. Fingernail breaks. This brain, and maybe I’ll remember my wife’s name.

A Razed Update at Page XX

The newest issue of Pelgrane Press’s feature collection, Page XX, includes an update on Razed, which I wrote especially for this issue. The piece also includes some images from playtest graphics and a scenario map, showing what the game looks like in its current, rough state. Head on over for a look at that.

RAZED: The End of the Atlanta Campaign

Tomorrow night I run the last session of the current playtest campaign I’ve had going for Razed. The game is still in active development, but I’m moving cities and sadly leaving this play group behind, so I’m trying to wrap things up in a way that is halfway satisfying.

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Balancing Your Want with Their Expectation

I’ve been doing a lot of my blogging via my Tumblr thing the last couple of weeks. Be sure to check that out. Here, for example, is a question that came in via the ask-a-question feature over there. Got a question? Ask it and maybe I’ll flail around this bad, like a T-1000 melting in molten metal, over your question too.
Anonymous asked:
How do you balance between exploring what you want to do and what your audience expects from you?

Great question. For me, lately, it’s not one I have to actively deal with—I don’t think I have an audience that expects things from me, per se. (For me, the balance is between the projects I want to do and the projects that pay the bills, and it always tips towards those that pay.) One of my goals for the back half of 2010 is building my rapport with an audience and expanding the definition of “what I do” for those who are paying attention.

When I was running Vampire, though, I dealt with this problem every day—what I wanted and what the audience expected were not the same, I think—and, honestly, I’m not all that happy with how I balanced it. Truth be told, the issue was balancing what we could do on our timeline with what the audience expected with what the audience needed with what I thought would meet with the approval of people in-house. On Vampire, I was concerned with getting nods of approval from other in-house developers and they just weren’t coming, for a variety of reasons. But my need for validation helped me to make some bad calls, and if I had it to do again, I’d just design the most aggressive mix of wish fulfillment and utility I could muster for the end user. I wouldn’t defy expectations in hopes of surprising people into admiring me, because the truth is that for most creatives, the work is what gets the attention, not the creator. Which is to say, I don’t think I would balance what I want and what the audience expects—I’d favor what the audience wants. Sometimes (often?), that’s to be surprised.

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The Carrot-Peeler of Paranormal Fiction

Over on my Tumblr thing, Josh of Blue Ink Alchemy asked this question:

What makes the best supernatural fiction? How do you keep the paranormal fresh and interesting?

Here’s my rough-shod answer:

Oh, man, you put that word in there: best. That’s like a pile of C4 with wires running out all over the place. I’m afraid to tamper with it, afraid to even look right it. Fortunately you’ve provided me a second question I can use as an escape chute.

What makes the paranormal fresh and interesting is, to my mind, the same thing that makes interpersonal drama fresh and interesting after 5,000 years of telling stories: character and detail. The trick to making any story interesting is to get the audience to connect with it—that’s what interest is, I think—and characterization is how that’s done. I could say, instead, that conflict is how you get people interested, and that’s true, but I think to have conflict you need to characterize two or more sides of the conflict. In other words, Person Vs Nature isn’t an interesting story, but an angry cyberpunk lost in the last jungle on Earth is, because the two main forces have been characterized a bit.

Characters are like the sockets we can use to connect with the story; they need to be deep enough for our plugs to fit into. That, or it’s the characters’ hands that we hold on to as we climb aboard the moving train of the story. Pick your metaphor.

I used to think that situation was key, and it is for sure important, but I think characters are a vital part of situation. So often, when I’m cooking up situations, I realize that the characters are implicit parts of the situation—as vital as organs. For my story about a vampire stranded in an English country manor, trapped by curious and foolhardy Edwardians, I thought the situation was key: vampire trapped. (The same goes for my vampire-on-a-submarine story.) The reason you’ve never seen these stories, though, is because they suck a little bit, because I put too much emphasis on the situation and didn’t play up the extent to which characters are essential to situation. The situation was good, but my characters weren’t sturdy enough to hold on to. I think too much supernatural fiction expects the situation to do all the heavy lifting. I could be wrong.

As to freshness, I firmly believe the trick to that is in details. A vampire drinking blood is rote, but having him drink something else isn’t the only way to freshen the material. Details, in the moment, make things tangible and immediate in a way that always has potential for freshness.

Consider the vampire who uses a blade, maybe a carrot-peeler, to draw back a curl of flesh from his drugged victim’s throat. He laps at the running blood, probing the wound with his forked tongue, meddling with it like it was a gash on his own gums. When he’s done, he peels off a spot of soft electrical tape and adheres the curl of flesh back into its sticky groove. “Maybe someone will think it’s a wannabe vampire,” he tells his bloodsucking cohorts, “but at least they’re unlikely to think it’s a fucking vampire.”

A bit of detail—uncomfortable or cozy, familiar or strange—is the difference between repetitive, same-old storytelling and freshness. A story without detail is a stiff, dried-out thing, while new detail restores even old stories to supple life. Whether it’s a grainy old raisin with a stem like a tiny brown bone or a juicy grape that bursts when bitten, at least it’ll have that telling detail.

You can ask me questions via my Tumblr or in the comments here, to help me decide what to blog about next. Please?

On Mediocrity, Storytelling, and Getting It

Did you read this thing I posted on my tumblelog? I may be wholly foolish to even write this out loud, this call for perspective on the subject of mediocre stories, but it just sort of fell out of my head onto the page this way, and I’m not afraid to be wrong for a little while if it’ll help me be right in the future.

PvP: Wheaton Vs Scalzi

So John Scalzi is hosting a fan-fiction contest, which you can read about over on his well-known and book-spawning blog, called Whatever. The gist of it is this: Write a bit of fanfic to go with a painting that Scalzi commissioned from artist Jeff Zugale. Let me be more clear: Write a bit of fanfic to go with a totally eye-blastingly awesome painting Scalzi commissioned depicting Scalzi as an orc and my friend Wil Wheaton, wearing his clown sweater, astride a kitten/hippogriff/unicorn thing against a backdrop of exploding volcanoes, all painted by artist Jeff Zugale.

The winning entry becomes part of a chapbook from Subterranean Press, which goes on sale as a benefit for the Lupus Foundation of America.

I don’t expect that this will be in the actual running, on account of I probably won’t submit it, but I gave myself 45 minutes or so to riff on the painting, and this is what I came up with. (And since I’ve been working in screenplay format a lot these past few months, it’s where my head’s at.) If nothing else, I hope this amuses you.

EXT. THE MOUNTAINS OF BANEDARK – NIGHT

In the distance, a pair of volcanos ERUPT, gushing forth smoking LAVA and screaming-hot GUITAR RIFFS. It’s TOTALLY METAL.

Bursting out of the mid-ground SMOKE and ASH comes a BLACK VAN emblazoned with an air-brushed image of a HALF-NAKED MAN & WOMAN battling shit like LIVING SKELETONS and probably a motherfucking DRAGON, with big spiral HORNS. The van is adorned with huge wood-and-steel SHIELDS and bristling with AXES on RACKS.

CLOSE ON THE VAN

In the front seats are TWO ORCS: ZOOGALE (driving) and SCALZEE (shotgun). Fuzzy 20-SIDED DICE hang from the rearview.

ZOOGALE

We’re not gonna make it!

SCALZEE

We’ll make it.

SCALZEE slams a cartridge into the EIGHT TRACK PLAYER in the dash. Chanting, wordless VOCALS echo from the HI-FIDELITY STEREO SPEAKERS over pounding DRUMS and cutting, lethal GUITARS. The bass is SO FAT, sodas in the theater ripple and tremble. It’s an ORC METAL OPERA.

ZOOGALE checks the driver’s side rearview mirror.

ZOOGALE’S POV

In the mirror, something is coming. It’s a winged dot above the horizon, backlit by CHURNING MAGMA, sunlight GLINTING off SOMETHING GOLD. It’s getting closer.

A BARITONE CHORUS swells.

ZOOGALE points a thumb over his shoulder.

ZOOGALE

He knows it was us who logged in on his account and left him naked in the Valley of Darkwoe! He knows we have his gear!

In the back of the van, POULDRONS and GREAVES, a CUIRASS and WHATEVER PLATE-MAIL PANTS ARE CALLED rattle in a pile.

SCALZEE

Keep driving.

ZOOGALE

But that’s a flying mount! We can’t outrun that!

SCALZEE opens his door and snatches a SHIELD and an AXE off the side of the VAN.

SCALZEE

I’ll hold him off. You get rid of this stuff as fast as you can.

ZOOGALE nods.

SCALZEE DIVES out of the van in SLO-MO, rolling over VOLCANIC GLASS and ASH and coming to a skidding stop ON HIS FEET. Badass.

ZOOGALE pulls the passenger-side door shut, then pulls the CB HANDSET off the dash and yells into it.

ZOOGALE

WTS [Pouldrons of the Dire Owlbear] [Shit-Kickers of Infinite Skanking] [Leggings of the Whale Narwhal] PST!!!

As the VAN tears off into the distance, SCALZEE turns around in SLO-MO to face his APPROACHING FOE. He SQUINTS into the SKY, and then A TERRIBLE REALIZATION spreads across his face.

SCALZEE

Oh, shit!

Out of the GLARE, he descends: WIL WHEATON astride his UNIKITTENGRIFF! Above the BLUE HOT PANTS that make up the underwear of all HUMANS he is dressed in gleaming multi-colored CHAINMAIL: a [SWEATER OF THE GIDDY CLOWN]! In his hand: an [AWESOMANTIUM SPEAR OF LANCING]!

WIL WHEATON

Gyeeeeeaaaaagh!

UNIKITTENGRIFF

Rawr! LOL!

SCALZEE hoists his SHIELD with his right hand, deflecting the first of WIL WHEATON’S blows! The volcanos BELCH FORTH FIRE in the background.

SCALZEE

Where’d you get that gear?! We cleaned out your vault!

WIL WHEATON circles around, hovering on his mighty steed, reigns in his right hand, spear in his left. His eyes say “I NEVER SHOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU MY PASSWORD SO YOU COULD PLAY AS MY ALT!”

WIL WHEATON

I swapped out a feat last level and forged these myself!

UNIKITTENGRIFF

ROFL! FTW!

WIL WHEATON unleashes an encounter power, THRUST OF A THOUSAND SMITES, rolls an 18, and deals 2W+15 points of damage. Red numerals float away above SCALZEE’s head.

SCALZEE

Ow! My hit points!

WIL WHEATON

Give me my stuff or the next one will be a daily power!

SCALZEE smiles. Knowingly.

WIL WHEATON (CONT’D)

Why are you smiling knowingly?

SCALZEE

Because I know something you don’t know. I am not left-handed!

SCALZEE throws his SHIELD away and tosses his axe into his right hand, then whips is round and round WITH A FLOURISH.

WIL WHEATON

Don’t be a dick!

WIL WHEATON FLIPS off his mount, spinning through the air, and lands opposite SCALZEE.

WIL WHEATON (CONT’D)

I’m not left-handed, either!

SCALZEE and WIL WHEATON growl and CHARGE, their weapons CLASHING, teeth GRITTING, sparks FLYING, volcanos EXPLODING, guitars SCREAMING!

SMASH CUT TO:

TITLE: COMING SEPTEMBER 2010!

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